“Individually, we are difficult. Together, we are impossible.” He said this to me yesterday, after our first joint-counseling session, and he is right.
We are energy people, and the energy is often palpable, perhaps a little salty, the consistency of homemade playdoh. But he, in particular, has the ability to manipulate his, to shift it, squeeze it, ball it up, and hurl it across the room—should he choose to do so. I, on the other hand, cannot do this. This is not to say that my energy does not shift or sway; this is to say that I cannot control it. We sat there together on a tattered couch in the center of a small room and watched this poor woman choke on what could only be felt but not seen. She didn’t know what to do with us; she couldn’t take a position, and she didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know. She had seen him once before. Neither of us will be going back.
I love deeply and hurt easily; I am not quick to anger. What I do not know is this: how to forgive. Forgiveness is an art form, like putting a brush to canvas or modeling tool to moist clay, and you may do this a million times before you are good at it or have a complete peace. Lao-Tse said, “a thousand mile journey begins with one step.”
I am on my way.
I love the way you write; just love it!!
ReplyDeleteOne step at a time, one day at time, one page a day.<3
Thank you, Momma. One step, one day, one page. Sometimes, I think writing is nine-tenths of my soul... Love you.
ReplyDeleteRajiv Gandhi (indian prime minister) was assasinated. There a woman in a jail serving sentence all these years. Rajiv Gandhi's daughter went to meet this woman a year ago (after so amny years of anguish, thinking that now she was in a stage to forgive) but after meeting her and knowing what all this woman herself was going thru, Priyanka (Rajiv's daughter) realised that who are we to forgive?
ReplyDeleteDoes it satisfy our ego or lessens our pain if we say that we have forgiven bcoz in that moment we feel we have risen, we have become bigger/superior.
this is just one way to look at things.
not saying that you are wrong in any thing pls.
love and peace to you too.
@Loner...I don't think forgiveness as it pertains to my experience is about satisfying my ego at all. And I certainly don't feel elevated in anyway other than the fact that I would rather move forward than remain pain-stricken by events of the past. If forgiveness were solely an ego trip, perhaps I would have been more concerned with forgiveness long before now. But I do believe it is important to own your pain and lessen it in anyway possible as to promote personal growth, to strive to be a better human being full of peace and love. And thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It is much appreciated.
ReplyDeletewell said, dear
ReplyDelete