The Full Moon, Fat with Possibilities

Oh, where to start?

I have pictures I want to post from our day trip to the creek a couple of Saturdays ago.

I want to tell the world about the wonderful growth and transformation my son is making in his new school program.

Congratulations are in order to a college friend who just had the most amazing birth experience earlier today.

Another friend just signed a lease on her new living space that bursts with possibility, and another friend in Colorado signed the lease for her new business venture, her very own medical practice.

I have so many stories to tell. So many stories.

But, today, my story is that I was offered an evaluation-to-hire, full-time position through a staffing agency in just a matter of hours. After months of independent searching, months of wrangling back and forth with the first staffing agency, months of unanswered calls and emails, and a mound of rejection letters that would heat a house in the winter, I was offered this position in a matter of hours. It was like a gift or a sign. I could not say “No.” I could not say “Please, can I have until Monday?” I start first thing tomorrow.

What my boyfriend and I were not prepared for, however, was the sheer disappointment of it.

For the last six months, we have done a lot of work. We have spent numerous hours in conversation. We have worked hard on our relationship. We have been inseparable. And we have been poor. Very poor. But it’s almost as if we grew together these past few months, like a tree will grow around a spike or wire and make that spike or wire a part of its core. And, now, it feels impossible to pull apart from one another. We both know it is necessary. We both know it is a bit of a blessing and good fortune. We both know it is a tremendous opportunity. But we both know it is a major adjustment as I have been a permanent fixture in this house for the last six months. We both are sad, stomping around and pouting like two children who have had their lollipops confiscated. We both are overjoyed.

The complexities of the human condition, of our human conditions as they are unique to each of us, are like little mysteries that we get to solve each and every day. And they are beautiful; they are difficult; they are sure as the fat, yellow moon that rose above the horizon this evening, with its hazy-soft halo hung low in the humidity.

It will lead us tonight into a bright new day.

In peace and love…